We aren't in the same state for marriage prep!

What can we do?

 

We have quite few different marriage prep books you can both read. There is also a personalized, research-based marriage preparation inventory you can both take on your own time, called The Couple Checkup. It's less than $30 and very robust. And finally, we have a list of premarital counselors who do telephone work.

 

 

My fiance says we're just fine and doesn't want to talk to a stranger about our relationship.

 

This is a completely understandable emotion. You can let your fiance know that group classes and even the online Power of Two class are confidential. You are never sharing information in the group. You can also take The Couple Checkup - the most powerful marriage inventory, backed by research and over 2 million couples participating. You'll get a 17 page personalized report that you don't have to share with anyone.

 

 

My fiance is being very unreasonable, has no reason why we can't go, and I'm feeling very hurt.

 

As with many issues in married life, what matters more than what you are, or aren't doing, is how each of you feel about it. If there is a huge impasse and you're wanting marriage prep because it's important to you, you have to decide whether there is some underlying concern that your fiance isn't bringing up. If it's serious enough, you may want to carefully switch from "will you?" conversations to, "I really need this from you." Changing your tone, explaining more clearly the reasons why, and expressing your sadness and fears may help your fiance realize this is not just another nag but something worth pursing.