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The Wedding Date - Relationship Issues to Consider

  • What is the season – will guests be comfortable in the hot or cold or mild weather?
  • How accessible is the wedding -               
    • Will people have to fly or drive – how long will they have to take off work to get there? Are there affordable hotels nearby?  Are you making the date/time easy to take off work or avoid taking vacation time?  Is there a lot of driving when they arrive in the destination?
  • Are there any events in the family, your community, among friends (perhaps their own weddings or busy jobs), or the nation that might conflict with your date – from a marathon in your area, holiday weekends, traditional family vacation times, school graduations or pregnancies within the next 9 months?  If you have a lot of CPA relatives you wouldn’t want a January to April date, for example.  Or golf business owners can’t easily take time off in the summer
  • If people are helping pay for the wedding are there times of the year better financially?  Perhaps big bonus’ at the end of the year make a spring wedding more financially accessible?  Are there slow times of the year when money is tighter – say, just before Christmas? Even if you are paying for your own wedding, are you going to be moving or buying a house around the wedding? How will all this impact your date?

- Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, is a co-founder of The First Dance, along with Marriage and Family therapist father Dr. William J. Doherty.  The First Dance was a Modern Bride Trendsetter award winner in 2007 for taking on the complex family dynamics of wedding planning.  Read Take Back Your Wedding: Managing the People Stress of Wedding Planning for more advice on working through the people stresses of wedding planning as a couple, with your families, and how to strengthen your upcoming marriage through this enormous first task of married life.

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