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Wedding Honeymoon

 

Whether you've started working on your honeymoon or not, it's quite a shock to realize the honeymoon is its own HUGE project with tons of decisions, details, and money. It's sometimes organized by men, at least that was the tradition. But these days whoever has the interest or "travel saavy" tends to coordinate the honeymoon.

 

Mini-moons are becoming popular. Sometimes it is by necessity, whether it is financial or because of work, a full two week honeymoon is impractical. Mini-moons are sometimes a quick 2 hour drive to a nice hotel.

 

Ways people think about a honeymoon:

 

  • it's a relaxing getaway after the stress of wedding planning
  • it's a once in a lifetime splurge
  • it should be to a place in the world you've never been
  • it should be at a beach (roughly 60% of couples have a beach honeymoon)
  • it should be somewhere you would want to return to celebrate a future anniversary

 

Potential honeymoon locations:

 

  • A beach (in the US or abroad)
  • A family retreat (a family cabin, timeshare, etc)
  • Europe
  • South America
  • Africa
  • A USA honeymoon - mountains, beach, large cities, national parks, a region you've never been to
  • In your own state

 

Expectations you have for your honeymoon:

 

Hopefully you and your spouse-to-be have similar ideas of your honeymoon. If you don't quite know what you want to do, here are some ideas to get you thinking.

 

  • Do you want to travel a long way? Potentially dealing with jet lag, or lose time by a day-long travel each way
  • Do you want relaxation or adventure?
  • Does your wedding season encourage a particular climate or make you avoid it (hurricane season, autumn, winter)
  • Do you want to go somewhere new, or do you have a meaningful place you'd like to return to?
  • What is your budget? Do you want options to go 'on the cheap' wherever you are, or would an all-inclusive location be easier on your finances?
  • For future anniversaries, do you want to go somewhere you could return to?
  • Do you want to head towards family or friends who couldn't make your wedding, or avoid them (and avoid where they live so you don't get guilted into visiting them when you're trying to be alone)
  • Do you want to go somewhere fun that is easier without kids (assuming you want to start a family some day)
  • Do you want to be taken care of or do you want freedom (guided tours/all inclusive vs going alone)
  • How much time do you want to take? Will this impact your year post wedding? (less vacation time for holidays, etc)


 

The First Dance Recommendation:

 

We never have hard and fast rules on what you should do or how you should think about wedding planning. Our goal is to help you become a stronger couple as you navigate your growing relationship and redefining yourself as a newly married couple. Wedding party members who do various degrees of wedding planning are either an asset to you because your fiance(e) is not interested, or can be a source of strain when your partner wants to be more involved and feels like your friends should not be so intimately involved. Then add in friendship drama that may develop in wedding planning and your fiance(e) may really not understand why you are giving such a honorific role to someone who stresses you out, or can't understand why you don't feel like you can just "fire" the friend.

 

So the best course of action is really decide for yourself what you are expecting, get the lay of the land on what families expect and proceed with caution. If you view your bridal party as a workhorse team and your fiance's family views the bridal party as a way to honor family (and you haven't met or barely know the women in his family) you could be in for some tension between your view and starting your marriage by causing tremendous family drama. It is then important to separate the 'wedding party roles' from the actual tasks you are hoping to get help on. There is nothing wrong with "just a friend" playing right hand help with your wedding even if they aren't in the wedding party... as long as they know why (you have two sisters and a future sister in law you have to invite and it's easier to keep things all family). In this case of course you then have to asssess what role the family members expect to play as bridal party members.

 

What is your approach and how is it working for you? Let us know!

 

Tips to keep in mind:

 

  • am I asking for something reasonable out of my wedding party?
  • are my views of the wedding not taking into account the realities of other peoples lives - my wedding party attendants don't have the time to take off work, or help me plan, or money to carry out big events
  • have I waited until it was too late to find out if someone is planning a shower or bachelore/tte party? Have I made the mistake of assuming someone should have known?
  • have I created an ugly triangle between two bridal party members by complaining about one to another? is that causing more stress for my confidante who has to navigate my feelings and her own relationship with that other attendant?
  • am I keeping the bridal party updated on what is going on and being direct in asking for what I need (without assuming they are "required" to do anything I want?)
  • if a bridal attendant is stressing me out, is it because of lack of communication on my part, miscommunication on her role, their own shortcomings that will never change (and I mistakenly thought would vanish because this is my special day?), or have I done something to cause the problem?