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Wedding Stress and Mistakes Made with Siblings
Whether you love your siblings or lead different lives, weddings will bring up old emotions, potnetial jealousy as parents pay or more less attention to you or your wedding than they are to your siblings, and your fiance(e) may be perceived as an unwanted new family member.
In the best situation you are close to your siblings, they get along well with your beloved, and the wedding is a time to get even closer. In the worst situation extreme stress can occur as quesitons about who is in the wedding party stir the pot, parents are triangled into bitter rivalries between who got better treatment in their wedding or who is paying for what. Or if the sibling is not engaged but jealous, it may add to drama about all the attention going towards the big day.
It is important to get the lay of the land from your fiance(e). You know your siblings and it's your responsibility to set the stage so your partner isn't blindsided by potential drama or personality issues. If your sister has been extremely competitive and jealous of you your entire life, don't expect her to change just because it's "your big day." Same with your future sister-in-law.
Particular mistakes made with siblings include:
- Do siblings expect to be in the wedding party
- Do siblings feel treated fairly by your parents as attention is geared towards you
- Are siblings given roles in allignment with what they're capable of (an extremely dramatic, jealous sibling should not be expected to act completely out of character just because it's your big day. She could still be made of honor but most responsibilities are given to a less hostile wedding party member..)
- Are expectations clear on their role? If your future sister-in-law is in your wedding party but will have to travel far for wedding festivities, is this communicated well in advance? If your groom knows his sister can't afford the events, have you planned ahead for alternative plans or to help defray her costs?
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