Welcome Clergy and Wedding Officiants

No one gets a closer look at how couples and families manage the emotional aspects of weddings than you do. Some clergy have told us they could write a best seller about the stress and intrigue that culminate at the wedding rehearsal. You can sense the family pressures on the bride and groom, the in-law strains, and the impossible expectations for a perfect wedding. You know that couples find it difficult to access their deeper spiritual values in the face of endless to-do lists and squabbling families and wedding parties.

When you have the couple in a premarital counseling session, it’s natural to avoid discussing wedding planning, aside from the ceremony, out of a desire to deal with what everyone is avoiding talking about—the future marriage relationship. But we have concluded that it is fruitless and unwise to ignore the gigantic elephant in the premarital counseling room—the wedding planning process. People learn more from current pressure points in their lives than from future challenges they can only imagine.

The First Dance takes engaged couples where they are living and breathing—namely, in the crucible of planning the most complex logistical and interpersonal event of their lives--and helps them learn how to make decisions based on their values and to relate to their families under stress. It also helps parents understand what is happening to their family and develop effective ways to walk the tightrope of guiding but not directing their adult children. Couples who have taken the program report less stress in the months leading up to their wedding, more ability to handle the pressures as they come, and more wisdom to carry over to their marriage. They also want more premarital education now that they have tasted its fruits.

Ways you can use The First Dance:

To get you started, we are offering the first chapter from our book, Take Back Your Wedding:Managing the People Stress of Wedding Planning. Enjoy.

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  • "What an honest, common sense look at the people-side of planning a wedding, stated so clearly.  Some of your example dialogues had me laughing out loud because they were so true!"

    Amanda Niemotka
    Amanda Events
    Owner/ Professional Wedding Coordinator